Women: Single and Loving It. Are women better off alone? Marriage is no magic bullet for happiness, some say. According to the US Census, 53% of singles are women, 47% are men. But the way American culture treats single. Women: Single and Loving It. The Sex and the City ladies were feisty, gutsy. Our Friends girlfriends had great .. Thirty years ago, our mentor was Mary Tyler Moore. In the 1. 96. 0s, our guru was Helen Gurley Brown with her liberating book, Sex and the Single Girl. But medical studies show just the opposite - - that married people are happier and healthier than single women. The pressure to marry is even greater than ever, says Bella M. De. Paulo, Ph. D, social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of the book Singled Out. That's ridiculous. The best friendships often last longer than marriages .. Anyone who reads the divorce columns knows that's not true! Single women can now get sex outside of marriage. It's probably quaint not to. Single women can even have kids without a husband, and without having sex! Yet if you look to one person to be everything, it's not fair to that person, not fair to you, and it's not healthy. And if the marriage doesn't last, it's devastating. The researcher's perspective is that we each have a baseline of happiness, and marriage on average isn't going to change that - - except for that little blip. But studies don't take that transition period into account. More women are single today than ever before, De. Paulo notes. The divorce statistics are still high. Women are less likely to remarry after divorce than men. Women live longer than men. Online dating for lasting, loving relationships. Register for FREE on eHarmony today & meet wonderful local singles with whom you share true compatibility.There are more widowed older women than men. Men have a tougher time bonding with other guys. For men it's not so easy to sit down and have coffee or a long leisurely dinner with another guy. There has to be some pretext for it, like a business lunch, our eating before playing basketball. If men could have real relationships with men, it would be different for them. When that relationship is over, the emotional support often ends for him. For women, female friends are their best friends, too. Also, women tend to make new friends as they get older, she adds. Not All Sex and Roses. However, being a single woman isn't all sex and roses. You've got all those household bills, too - and you're the only one paying them. For some women, it's still that way. But now women can get high- paying jobs, which make a huge difference for them. A friend to go on a trip with, to movie festivals with, to drop in when you're feeling sick - - all those people can substitute for a mate. What you're fighting is that home- alone syndrome. You're making sure people will take you out of everyday life maintenance. When you have a partner, their interests help extend your life. When you're single, you have to build that in. Life in an RV, touring the country, works fine for them. But on their worst days, single women worry about old age and dying alone - - or with only their cats at their side. If you get sick, don't assume your mate will be the one nursing you. Maybe he just can't deal with your illness. Or he could be the one with the big physical issues, and that will tie you down. There are certainly cases of younger women marrying older men. Then he gets sick, and she ends up taking care of him. Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years. A schedule of the speed dating NYC singles have made famous, with events throughout New York, organizers of NYC singles events for over 9 years. Match.com released a survey that shows the dating rules have changed. They are more likely to have people in their lives. That's why a sense of community is so important, she says. There are more chances of health issues, which would be unpleasant under any circumstance. You have to make sure you have someone looking after you. It's a form of group housing much like a '6. These are condo- style developments built around a . Cohousing communities are typically designed to resemble old- fashioned neighborhoods. Members get together often to share meals, socialize, and handle the ordinary stuff of daily living although they live in individual units. Intentional communities can be found all over the U. S. Typically, community members jointly own land that has multiple dwellings. Frequently, members share a common bond - a religious, political, or social philosophy that brings them together. Ethan Watters was single, in his 3. San Francisco when he coined the concept of . A vegetarian dining group, a hiking club, or a running group could qualify as an urban tribe if they meet frequently enough, says Watters, author of the book Urban Tribes. We don't stay in our jobs as long. That leads to a social vacuum, and humans don't do well in a social vacuum. Something will fill it. That's where Thanksgiving dinners started out as stopgap measure, then 1. She was in her 7. She had a very fulfilling life. Retired people have long formed these types of communities. It's people younger than 6. But you have to realize an urban tribe is an ephemeral thing, it changes. People leave, others come in. It's a very informal contract you make with your friends. But it never has a sense of reciprocity. It's about giving genuinely and freely. De. Paulo, Ph. D, social psychologist, University of. California, Santa Barbara; author, Singled Out. Pepper Schwartz, Ph. D. professor of sociology, psychiatry, and behavioral medicine, University of. Washington, Seattle. Ethan Watters, author, Urban Tribes. Fellowship. for Intentional Community. Cohousing Association of the United States. All rights reserved.
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